


Always

by bccalling



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, Late Series, M/M, Reminiscing, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 17:29:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8542267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bccalling/pseuds/bccalling
Summary: Sam and Dean spend some time reminiscing.





	

“Do you remember,” Sam murmurs as he rests against Dean’s chest, “the first time you said you loved me?”

Dean smiles a little. “It wasn’t the first time, kiddo,” he pokes Sam in the side as his other hand plays in his brother’s hair. “It was just the first time you remember. And your memory is crap.”

“Whatever,” Sam scoffs with an eye roll. “You remember it, though, right?”

Dean nods fondly, “Yeah, Sammy. I remember.”

“Sometimes, I think about that moment, and I wonder if maybe that was when I fell in love with you. You know, like this. I was so scared, Dean. The way you came back from that hunt. That giant fucking tear in your stomach. I thought I was going to lose you.” Sam's voice is tight, like he's trying to hold back tears at the memory. Dean smiles softly, and presses a kiss into Sam's hair.

“You didn’t, though,” Dean reassures, as Sam’s fingers play where those old scars used to be. “I’m right here, Sammy.”

“I know,” Sam smiles a little. "It’s not the fear or anything, really, I just. I think about it sometimes, you know? I remember dad all but carrying you in–you were nearly unconscious–and I remember helping him to stitch you up, even though I could barely see through my tears. And dad kept saying ‘it’s gonna be okay, Sammy’ in that voice he used when he was pretending to be brave, and I was so, so scared. Didn’t know what I’d do without you.”

Dean’s lips tip up and he draws Sam’s hand up to his mouth to press a kiss there as he tangles their fingers.

“I was 11, and you were 15, and all I could think was that I was about to lose my big brother," Sam's fingers play absently with Dean's, and Dean thinks for a moment that Sam's trying to reassure himself that Dean's really there. And Dean gets it. It was the first real scare they'd ever had, and Sammy had been so broken at the thought of losing Dean. 

“I know, Sammy,” Dean offers, squeezing Sam’s hand to offer that grounding of contact he can see his brother needs. 

Sam smiles up at Dean, and continues on with his reminiscences, his fingers never breaking contact with his brother. "You were out of it for a while, and I sat by your bed and waited. And when you woke up, you smiled and it made you flinch, and when I saw that, I started crying all over again. So you reached out a little, and you said ‘C'mere, Sammy,’ and I scrambled up into your arms so goddamn fast, Dean. And I stayed like that, crying and clinging to you, and you were hurt so bad, but you just kept whispering 'it’s okay, Sammy, I’m right here’ and rubbing these soft little circles on my back that must have hurt you so bad. And dad came in after a minute, and I remember when he did, he tried to pull me away–kept saying 'you’re gonna hurt him, Sam, get off,’ and I just clung tighter and sobbed. And you. God, Dean, you looked up at dad with more challenge than I’d ever seen in your eyes, and you said flat out, 'back off–hurts more without him.’”

Dean chuckles a little at that; at the way Sam still remembers it with so much awe.

“And that was the moment, I think, that I realized how deep this thing between us ran. Dad gave up and let us be, and I remember you whispered 'I love you, Sammy’ over and over and over again, and you were so real and alive, and I was so relieved, Dean.” Sam's fingers are still playing at Dean's skin, and Dean knows he's trying to keep it together. "I loved hearing it, you know? In that moment, when I'd been so scared, you put me back together again with just those four little words. You were so hurt, and I should have been putting _you_ back together, but you made everything right so easily. God, Dean--it meant so much."

Dean presses a kiss to Sam’s forehead, fingers stroking over his little brother’s cheek. “I should say it more often,” he murmurs quietly, reverence coloring his tone. “I’m sorry I don’t say it more often.”

Sam smiles honestly and shifts his body around so he’s leaning over Dean, staring down into his brother’s eyes. “You don’t have to say it, Dean,” he assures, eyes dancing over his brother’s features. “You show it, every moment of every day. The fact that we’re both here, alive, is a testament to that. Dean, I feel it, every time you’re close. Every time we make love, or you even so much as smile at me. I don’t mind hearing it, but I don’t need to, okay? I know you love me. That’s more than enough.”

“I do love you, Sammy.” Dean breathes out, stretching up just a bit to catch Sam’s lips. “And I’m going to try to say it more, even if you don’t need to hear it. Because I think I need to learn to say it. And you _deserve_ to hear it.”

Sam smiles a little and presses his lips to Dean's once more. "Love you, too, Dean. Always."


End file.
